Wednesday, December 8, 2010

If I Ever Get to Sleep, I'll Consider Wednesday A Win

10:00pm - Decide to do the canning I didn’t quite get to the rest of the day.

12:00am - Finished canning, get ready to go to bed.

12:15 - As I’m turning out the lights, decide for the hell of it, I’ll check the empty utensil drawers to see if any mice have been caught in the traps. Since there have been none after discovering the carnage on Thanksgiving, I don’t anticipate seeing anything.

12:15:09 - See a mouse in the trap.

12:22 - Finish bagging mouse, cleaning drawer, disposing of remains, and re-setting trap.

12:22:10 - Pause on the way back to bed to check silverware and cookware drawer for mouse evidence.

12:24 - Having finished cursing, prepare all utensils and drawer inserts for sterilization.

2:00 - Clean drawers, set traps in now empty drawers, while wondering where to put utensils and whether mouseproof utensil organizers exist.

2:18 - Get ready to go to bed, but decide am thoroughly pissed off and it’s time to get the little fuckers at the source. Set traps in garage right next to kitchen where they’ve been known to wander down the wall.

2:36 - Remember the electric trap, figure what the hell, it can’t hurt, and set it up in the garage.

2:58 - Add mouse traps, paper towels, 409, and disposable gloves to shopping list.

3:04 - Finally in bed.

5:06 - Still awake because the cat has spent the last two hours wandering outside the bedroom, howling at the top of his goddamn lungs.

5:09 - Get up, stomp into hallway, and led into living room by the cat who trots around and howls in his “omgthere’ssomethingihavetoshowyouknowbecauseit’sreallyimportantcomesee!” voice.

5:13 - After being led on an exhaustive search that includes the litter box room, his food bowl (not empty, but filled it anyway), and the scratching post, the cat completes his mission, flops on the floor, and gives me his “oh hai, now that I have led you in a futile search for something that might be wrong, please direct your attention to my belly, which needs to be rubbed. Also, my head needs scratching, thanks.”

5:15 - Finish rubbing cat’s belly and scratching cat’s head.

5:15:20 - Stumble into kitchen, notice a blinking light coming from the basement. Remember the electric trap said it would blink green if a mouse had been caught.

5:17 - Finish getting dressed, go to garage to see what’s up. See a second mouse in another trap.

5:19 - Take benadryl in the hopes I’ll fall asleep before sunrise, suit up in gloves and bags, clean up mice, disinfect, and reset traps.

5:31 - Sit down on sofa. Notice the cat has been completely silent for the last fifteen minutes.

5:31:30 - Go back to bed.

5:32 - The cat starts howling again.

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